We learned that just because a child's chronological age is 10 doesn't mean upon getting a phone call, "Hi, we've got a 10 year old girl up for adoption. Are you interested?," means that when she comes to live in our home she'll behave like a 10 year old. Now, this is not something that shocked me as most of the children (we've been informed) up for adoption have been abused somehow. She could be 10 years old, but appear to be 8, think like she's 5, socialize like she's 3, and emotionally still be an infant. It was heartbreaking, that class. It invoked a lot of feelings from everyone who participated.
The last activity we did involved closing our eyes and listening to the trainer read a story. I don't remember everything word for word - and I realize you can hardly close your eyes and read this at the same time. But, just put yourself in the place of the story.... Just try to.
Imagine yourself getting ready to come to the training classes tonight. What are you doing? Showering? Making or eating dinner? Rushing out the door, and having to turn back to get your PST notebook? Imagine yourself driving here, you get here, park the car, and come to the door. There's a note taped to the door.
TRAINING FOR THURSDAY NIGHT CANCELED
You get back into your car and head home, deciding to just relax at home instead. You get home, change into something comfortable and head to your favorite room. What are you wearing? What room are you in? Can you see everything clearly? What are you doing? Are you relaxed yet?
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG on the door
Now how are you feeling? You get up and go answer the door.
"Hi! Here's a trash bag. Go put whatever you need into it. You're coming with me, and hurry up cause we have to go right away." I'm walking past you, pushing a garbage bag into your hands. I follow you to your room. I watch you place your things into the bag. "Let's go!" I hurry you out the front door. You're clutching your garbage bag of possessions to your chest. How do you feel? How do you feel about me? What are you thinking?
"You'll be fine. Trust me," I say as I take your bag from you, and help you get into the car. I buckle your seat belt. I put your belongings in the trunk. I walk around to the driver side and get into the car. I start the car, and we pull away from your house. You're looking out the window, watching your home shrink slowly until you can't see it anymore. How do you feel? How do you feel about me? "Would you like the radio on? I like country and western music. You can put a tape in if you want," I start talking to you. "Did you have school today? My kids didn't. They're 8 and 10, we bundled up and went outside and had snowball fights and made a snowman! It was so much fun! You're going to just love the new house you're going to! I can't wait for you to meet your roommates. You're going to just love them! Trust me." How do you feel? How do you feel about me?
"Look! Here we are! All of your roommates are waiting outside on the porch for you. They're so happy you're here. Look, they're all smiling! Don't they look nice?" How do you feel? How do you feel about me?
What does the house look like? What do they people look like? We go inside and you meet your new roommates. How do you feel? How do you feel about me? I've asked one of the older roommates to help you get your stuff to your bedroom. You follow them slowly upstairs, clutching your bag, looking over your shoulder at me. How do you feel? How do you feel about me? You follow them to your new room. You can hear me laughing in the kitchen, I'm drinking coffee. How do you feel? How do you feel about me?
"Hey!" I call up to you, "I've got to go." You come downstairs. "I'll see you soon! You'll be fine here. These people are really nice. See ya very soon!" I walk out the door. You're standing looking out the door at me as I get into my car. I drive away. How do you feel? How do you feel about me?
There were a lot of emotions in our class during that story and afterwords we discussed them. How lonely and angry and sad and confused these children must be! Those poor little souls. They'd rather be in the environment than they grew up in - no matter how terrible it might be, because that is their comfort zone. How heartbreaking, the stories of physical, emotional, sexual, mental abuse; neglect; malnourishment! They grieve for their homes. They grieve for their families. They grieve - at such young, tender ages.
Pure love arises within a person who is unselfishly concerned with another's need.
Father, bless the children. Help them, heal them. Help the parents, heal the parents. Allow them to "forget about the past and focus on what lies ahead..." break the bad cycles, God. Help us all to love each other purely.
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 *Let it be so, Lord.*
"Hi! Here's a trash bag. Go put whatever you need into it. You're coming with me, and hurry up cause we have to go right away." I'm walking past you, pushing a garbage bag into your hands. I follow you to your room. I watch you place your things into the bag. "Let's go!" I hurry you out the front door. You're clutching your garbage bag of possessions to your chest. How do you feel? How do you feel about me? What are you thinking?
"You'll be fine. Trust me," I say as I take your bag from you, and help you get into the car. I buckle your seat belt. I put your belongings in the trunk. I walk around to the driver side and get into the car. I start the car, and we pull away from your house. You're looking out the window, watching your home shrink slowly until you can't see it anymore. How do you feel? How do you feel about me? "Would you like the radio on? I like country and western music. You can put a tape in if you want," I start talking to you. "Did you have school today? My kids didn't. They're 8 and 10, we bundled up and went outside and had snowball fights and made a snowman! It was so much fun! You're going to just love the new house you're going to! I can't wait for you to meet your roommates. You're going to just love them! Trust me." How do you feel? How do you feel about me?
"Look! Here we are! All of your roommates are waiting outside on the porch for you. They're so happy you're here. Look, they're all smiling! Don't they look nice?" How do you feel? How do you feel about me?
What does the house look like? What do they people look like? We go inside and you meet your new roommates. How do you feel? How do you feel about me? I've asked one of the older roommates to help you get your stuff to your bedroom. You follow them slowly upstairs, clutching your bag, looking over your shoulder at me. How do you feel? How do you feel about me? You follow them to your new room. You can hear me laughing in the kitchen, I'm drinking coffee. How do you feel? How do you feel about me?
"Hey!" I call up to you, "I've got to go." You come downstairs. "I'll see you soon! You'll be fine here. These people are really nice. See ya very soon!" I walk out the door. You're standing looking out the door at me as I get into my car. I drive away. How do you feel? How do you feel about me?
There were a lot of emotions in our class during that story and afterwords we discussed them. How lonely and angry and sad and confused these children must be! Those poor little souls. They'd rather be in the environment than they grew up in - no matter how terrible it might be, because that is their comfort zone. How heartbreaking, the stories of physical, emotional, sexual, mental abuse; neglect; malnourishment! They grieve for their homes. They grieve for their families. They grieve - at such young, tender ages.
Pure love arises within a person who is unselfishly concerned with another's need.
Father, bless the children. Help them, heal them. Help the parents, heal the parents. Allow them to "forget about the past and focus on what lies ahead..." break the bad cycles, God. Help us all to love each other purely.
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 *Let it be so, Lord.*
